Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

My Love Affair with EPP

Since I have no Valentine, (ick! who needs one?) I'm professing my love for English paper piecing instead. It's more like that disgusting, obsessive, quit hanging out with your friends because you've fallen off the face of the planet sort of love, but I'm ok with that. Judge all you want. I'm HAPPY.
hexie flower hexies
I know what you're thinking... Maybe if I put down the needle and thread and ventured out of my living room for a change I might find myself a man. Meh.

The other day I stopped to get an oil change. While the guy behind the counter seemed to be flirting with me, I decided to walk across the parking lot to the LQS and peruse the fat quarters instead of chatting with him while I waited. Once I returned he got back to asking 20 questions, attempting to find out if I was on the market. After telling him I spent nearly all my free time quilting, he straight up inquired if it was because I had no man to tend to. Huh. We laughed because he was spot on and we both knew it.
and another pic to prove this post does in fact belong on a quilty blog

Unfortunately for this guy, he didn't meet my very basic requirements. Since my pool of possible valentines is so incredibly vast (ha) I can afford to be picky. I'll share a few things I need from a man in order for him to have a chance with this fine behind.

- Must be able to fix a sewing machine.
- Must enjoy tolerate holding bolts of fabric so my hands are free to look for more bolts of fabric.
- Must be tall enough to hold up a queen size quilt for photographing without it touching the ground (preferably his footwear would be visible, but let's not get too specific!)
- Must have a mother who owns a long arm and would let me use it anytime I want (bonus points if she has a giant stash for me to pilfer)
- Must know to gift me a bundle of fat quarters on Valentine's day (and any other holiday) rather than flowers or chocolate or diamonds. Ok maybe I'd take diamonds, but you get the idea.
- Must make the mad cash so I can quit my job and be a SAHQ (stay at home quilter) for the rest of my life.

Are my expectations too high? Methinks not.

Oh and thanks for all the feedback on my Star Flower block (in the last post), it's so nice to ask for opinions and get such good ones! I'll be sharing pics of the finished product once the sun shows itself long enough for me to take some.

Liking up with Quilt Story's Fabric Tuesday :D
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